A Need For Speed

Posted on Thu Dec 28th, 2023 @ 12:08am by Captain Mira Rodale & Lieutenant Commander Kevin Lance

Mission: Christmas Cheer
Location: Earth
Timeline: Current

on:
{Hvalset Fjord, Greenland}


Kevin looked at the two-seater sled that sat at the top of the steep incline that lead to a series of half-pipes, crisscrosses, curves and straightaways that ended in a small arena at the edge of the inlet to the ocean. The craft looked sturdy enough, but Mira was arguing with Thor about the sensibility of the race that she was being asked to participate in.

“That is utterly insane!” the executive officer exclaimed, “I would risk life and limb in a wooden sled going downhill at over 100 kilometers per hour just for the fun of it but a race with the sleds having to cross each other’s path is completely mad!” Mira shook her head.

“Without the fear of death what pleasure is there in life, min lille?” Thor shrugged, “Besides your brakeman will ensure that neither sled comes to any harm.”

Mira took a step back, eyeing him suspiciously “And who is this brakeman?” Mira demanded with a raised eyebrow?

Odin stepped forward beaming. “Come my little one. Once you are between my legs all will be well.”

“No,” Mira instantly refused. Clearly his main meaning was the driver sat in front of the brakeman with the other’s legs either side but the double entendre was unmistakable. “Not with you. If I didn’t want to sit on your lap, why would you think I would be ok between your legs? This is an insane plan.”

Odin’s smile dropped in disappointment, “What is this then? You avoid dancing with the most eligible bachelors, refuse to take part in the polar bare dip, and now are unwilling to demonstrate your courage in sledding. You would have never refused in the old days. Star Fleet has made you weak.”

Kevin saw Mira bristling at the implication that she was a coward and a weakling. For an instant, he thought that she was going to punch Odin but she restrained herself, muttering through gritted teeth, “Star Fleet has nothing to do with this and I am not refusing but I will not be a party to a homicide. AS to dancing with your bachelors, why would I lead them on when I have no interest in picking one of them?” She held her hand up to stop whatever he was going to say. “ As to this” she waved to the wooden sled “ she was beginning to think he only picked her because of her weight. Odin was huge, and she was light. It was probably the only way he could enter unless he took a kid with him.

“No one has died in the past. What is it,” Odin looked to Thor, “twenty years?”

There was a general agreement from the other competitors, and Mira felt backed into a corner. “Fine,” she said, “but I won’t have you as my brakeman you’re a crazy man.”

Thor asked her who she wanted. Kevin, who was a brakeman in a later heat, was her choice, “I trust him. He has proven to be a valuable officer aboard the USS Chuck Norris.” She trusted Kronnelti also, but she didn’t see him anywhere.

There was some grumbling from the other male competitors, but Thor acquiesced.

“You’re a trained pilot,” Mira reasoned to Kevin, “Shouldn’t you be the driver? I have never been on one of these. Perhaps I should have just let them drowned me?”

Kevin shook his head, “The brakes slow the sled by friction and require a great deal of strength. By comparison, driving requires less strength and more finesse. Your own flight training should be sufficient to handle the sled.”

Mira was a little doubtful and asked Kevin if he had gone sledding before. “The Odinskus had something vaguely similar but instead of a sled they used small long boats plied with as many people as they could possibly fit to increase the top speed. Oh, and they didn’t have a track like this. Instead they would slide pell-mell down the mountain in the boat trying to avoid hitting rocky outcrops or stands of trees. There were a lot of wrecks. By comparison, this should be a stroll in the park.”

Mira's eyes widened at that information, but she nodded.

“You will push your sled to build momentum then jump in, driver first,” Thor explained, “Once seated you will need to retract her pushing handle,” he demonstrated on the driver’s handle, “to decrease your air resistance. On the track Lieutenant, you will need to keep your head behind and in-line with Mira’s again to reduce drag.”

That would be a trick as Mira was much shorter than himself. Perhaps he could scooch down once seated.

“Come along min lille,” Odin call out from the adjacent track, “Vahalla awaits!” He was supposed to be Mira’s brakeman but from where he was standing next to his sled, he intended to drive.

“Death, mayhem and bloodshed. WE are going to die if he is in that other sled.” She looked around, then shrugged “it’s a good day to die.” Mira briefly wondered if when she died would she go to Sto'Vo'Kor or Vahalla.

Kevin and Mira donned their helmets with the face guard down. A heads up display lit up in Kevin helmet displaying speed, a map of the course, and a timer. A brief exchange was enough to confirm that the helmet communicators were working.

Mira and Kevin grabbed their respective handles on either side of the sled. Kevin noticed Mira shiver but whether from the cold or the adrenaline he could not tell.

“On the count of three,” Odin’s voice came over the communicator, “En! To! Tre!” Outside of the helmets a long blast from the curved warn horn. “Push!” Kevin ordered needlessly. Mira was already sprinting towards the edge of the incline, shoving the sled as hard as possible without losing her footing on the ice.

Kevin pushed hard from behind and watched as the speedometer climbed to 35 kilometer per hour. Two blinking dots appears on the course overlay at the start and the timer varied up and down. As they reached the edge of the incline, Mira vaulted over the side and into the sled. As Kevin felt the sled’s building inertia threaten to pull away from him, he too jumped in the sled sliding his feet and legs on either side of Mira’s hips.

“Here we go!” Mira shouted gleefully over the helmet communicator as Kevin took hold of the brake handles on the sides of the sled’s interior.

The speedometer quickly climbed to over 100 kilometers per hour as the sled descended the steep incline prior to the first curve. The timer continued to vary by tenths of a second, displaying red rather than amber when less than two-tenths. Kevin fought the urge to turn his head and look for Odin’s sled instead keeping his eye fixed on the back of Mira’s helmet.

Mira narrowed her eyes. “They have more weight than we do, so they are going faster. I am thinking we should lean back for less air resistance.” Kevin agreed and wiggled down, sliding his hips forward until he was firmly pressed against Mira’s backside. She pressed back to Kevin, laid back

Mira steered the sled into the first curve. This wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be, but it was so cold! Leave it to the Vikings to come up with something to make it feel even colder then it was.

Coming out of the curve and approaching the first of three crisscrosses the sled picked up speed. Odin’s sled had a positional advantage on their own and Kevin had to brake hard to prevent a collision. The other sled shot across their path at the first crisscross and Mira cursed as they entered the second curve. The timer rose to more than a full second and the numbers turned from amber to green. They were falling behind and Mira shouted over the communicator, “Don’t do that again!” As soon as she said it she regretted it. He had just saved their lives. "Sorry" She definitely didn't want to see him hurt or killed.

The second curve included a downward incline that allowed the sled to pick up more speed. Maybe they could still pick up speed. She should have at least walked the track once.

The timer slowly descended below half a second as the sleds negotiated the next series of curves before the second crisscross.

Odin’s sled shot across their sled at the second crisscross with enough room to spare that Kevin had no need to brake. “We are catching him!” he shouted. Mira grinned her mind still on the curves.

Both sleds entered the Labyrinth, a series of sharp curves without any intervening straightaways. The G-forces were intense but tolerable. Kevin could feel the fatigue building in his muscles as he strained against the lateral forces to maintain a straight line with Mira. Thor had a hand in developing this run Mira was sure of it because he was a mad man!

Exiting the Labyrinth, the timer had dropped to less than a tenth of a second, but it was hard to tell which sled had the positional advantage as they approached the final crisscross. The sled had lost some speed in the Labyrinth, but Odin had apparently lost more. Kevin resisted pulling the brake to avoid a collision, but he did turn his head to search for the other sled. He found it only a couple of seconds before entering the crisscross. He judge that their sled was ahead of Odin's but just barely. He couldn’t see the other's eyes, of course, but he imagined that they were as wide as his.

Mira aligned the sled to shoot dead center of the crisscross. They entered ahead of Odin’s sled but a collision was imminent. Kevin closed his eyes and braced for impact, releasing the brake handles and clutching Mira around the waist. It was all Mira could do to keep her eyes open and her hands had a death grip on steering as Kevin held her. He must have known something she did not but they were coming to the end of the crisscross so it couldn't be that bad.

Odin’s sled clipped the back of theirs and Mira fought with the steering controls to maintain the sled’s line as it approached the curve. Mira cursed "See I said he crazy." She turned the control blades in the direction that the sled's tail was moving to prevent spinning into a collision with the track but it was taking them dangerously close to the top edge of the pipe.

Kevin released his hold on Mira and grabbed both brake handles again. By applying gentle but increasing firm pressure to the right side, he was able to slow the inside runner just enough to allow Mira to start pulling them lower into the curve and away from danger.

The timer was steadily climbing, the numbers turning from red to amber. Odin’s sled had survived the collision as well but was he gaining or losing speed?

The final two curves were negotiated with ease and as the sled entered the final straightaway and crossed the finish line, Kevin pulled back on the brakes with all his might. The sled slowed quickly and the speedometer plunged to zero. Quickly, the sled was surrounded by cheering locals congratulating the team wit shouts and by pounding them on the shoulders and helmets.

As they stopped, Mira pulled off her helmet, rolled over, and hugged him. She was so happy they lived it took a moment to realize they had won! Kevin hugged her back fiercely. While not as dangerous as the Odinskus competition, the was hardly the walk in the park he had promised. Releasing his hold on Mira, he pushed himself out of the sled and offered a hand to Mira.

"Ha, sigr, tírr and þrek" she said, ‘victory, glory and courage, strength’. Then let Kevin help her out.

"You cheated!" Odin yelled as he rapidly approached Mira and Kevin.

Thor, appearing from the cheering throng, intercepted him. "Odin you are a brakeman but insisted on driving," Thor laughed at Odin, "You were the author of your own demise. Perhaps you should not have called her weak, eh?”

Odin rubbed his beard “I didn’t think she had berserker blood.”

Mira laughed at him as tried not to slide on the slush the snow had turned into.

off:

Lt Commander Mira Rodale
XO
USS Chuck Norris

and

Lieutenant Kevin Lance
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Chuck Norris