An Affair of Honor to Remember

Posted on Thu Dec 21st, 2023 @ 1:31am by Commander Kevin Lance

Mission: CSI: Chuck Norris
Location: USS Chuck Norris
Timeline: Current

On:
{Emergency Transporter Room}

Delegate Sheris had insisted on being escorted off the Norris by the Imperial Guard, which all but confirmed his membership in that organization. He was also hoping for a last minute tete-et-tete with the beguiling Mira Rodale but it was not to be. The Andorians were gathered in the emergency transporter room preparing for transport to Earth Space Dock when they were interrupted.

“Delegate, a moment if you will.”

Sheris turned to face the human that he knew as the Captain’s Stewart but the man was now wearing the uniform of a command officer with Lieutenant’s rank on the collar. Confused, he responded, “Yes, what is it?”

“I wanted to give you a personal gift,” Kevin announced, “A memento of your stay aboard the Norris.” He handed a PADD to the delegate.

Curious, Sheris took the proffered item. A video was loaded and began playing as soon as the device detected his eye. It was a collection of clips, strung together, of his interactions with Lieutenant Commander Rodale but they had been cut in a most unfaltering manner, making him look like an utter buffoon. His face darkened in embarrassment until he heard the other members of the Imperial Guard laughing. They were looking between their own PADDs and at Sheris, and their mirth at his apparent blunderings was pronounced. Embarrassment turned to anger and he turned on the Star Fleet Lieutenant shoving the PADD back into his hand, “You slight my honor with this lie? I should challenge you to a duel.”

“I accept.”

“What?”

“You challenged me to duel,” Kevin replied matter-of-factly, “and I accepted.” The other Andorians stopped laughing as they took notice of the exchange between the two.

Sheris waved Kevin away, “I wouldn’t waste my time with someone as insignificant as you.”

“Is your honor so worthless that you can ignore an affront from someone as ‘insignificant’ as me,” Kevin pressed.

“Fine,” Sheris exclaimed in an exasperated tone, “My seconds shall wait upon yours.”

“We’ll settle this matter now,” Kevin replied

“Since you are in such a hurry to die,” Sheris responded, “Kihleb lend him your Ushaan-tor.”

“No.”

“No? Are you refusing the duel,” Sheris asked.

“As the challenged party,” Kevin explained, “the choice of weapons is mine.”

There was general assent amongst the Imperial Guard. Sheris shot them an irritated glance but was unwittingly impressed that the human knew so much about the rules of the Andorian code duello. “Very well,” addressing Kevin in a cooler tone, “What is your choice of weapons?”

“Fists,” Kevin stated, “An even exchange of blows at one meter.”

Sheris could only stare at Kevin for a moment and had to fight against letting his jaw drop. “That’s crude and barbaric!” he finally exclaimed.

“But permitted,” one of the elder guardsmen declared, “Unless you have any objection, Lieutenant, I will serve as your second in this affair.”

Kevin stated no objection and the elderly Andorian went through a number of traditional speeches and rituals designed to allow cooler head to prevail but finally addressing the two combatants. “Gentlemen, are you finally determined to settle this matter through the means negotiated?” he asked formally, “Can there be no reconciliation?

Both males indicated their affirmative to proceed with the duel.

“Then take your marks.”

Kevin and Sheris adopted fight stances one meter from each other.

“In an exchange of blows,” the Second explained, “you are permitted to change your stance but must stand your ground.”

Both males indicated their understanding of the rule.

“Sheris, as the challenging party, you have the first blow.”

Sheris smiled as he swung his fist at Kevin’s face. Kevin resisted the impulse to pull back from the impending hit, instead turning his face to move with it. The Andorian made solid contact with Kevin’s jaw but his movement with the strike robbed it of most of its force. Still it hurt enough to make Kevin wince.

Sheris’ smile fell as he realized that his right hook had not had a debilitating effect on his opponent. Kevin adopted a boxer’s stance and made a sudden jab at the delegate’s face. Kevin had been practicing his aim in the days since the dinner where Sheris had drugged Mira and he was certain that his blows would land where he intended. The punch struck the delegate in the left eye. Sheris gave a yelp and stumbled backwards.

“Is honor satisfied?” the Second asked.

“NO!” Sheris yelled.

Sheris took his position again, his injured eye blinking rapidly. His right hand shot out to spear Kevin’s throat. Kevin instantly turn his head to protect his larynx and the strike hit his neck instead, tearing at the flesh there.

Without waiting for his opponent to set himself, Kevin threw a strong punch to the Andorian’s solar plexus. The hit caused Sheris to double over and expel his breath. He remained bent over as the Second asked again, “Is honor satisfied?” After a moment, Sheris shook his head no. With effort, he straighten up and prepared his next blow.

The pain from the blow to his stomach and the swelling in his left eye must have degraded his aim because the punch to Kevin’s face was easily avoided.

Kevin almost felt sorry for Sheris as he prepared his next punch. Regardless, he pulled his arm back and launched a powerful strike to the middle of the delegate’s face. The Andorian was too hurt to avoid the fist and it struck him on squarely on the nose. There was a sickening crunch and Sheris collapsed to the floor.

One of the younger Guardsmen kneeled down next to the delegate. After a moment’s examination, he said, “Sheris is alive but I doubt that he will be able to declare honor satisfied.”

Kevin took this to mean that his opponent was unconscious.

The Second placed a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “We will take our comrade and withdraw but I doubt that you have heard the last of this.”

Kevin remained in the transporter room until the Andorians with Sheris carried by two of them, beamed off of the Norris. "Not a word of this to anyone," he told the transporter technician. That should buy him about 45 minutes, he thought. Then he turned to find the medical bay for treatment of his own injuries.

:off

Lieutenant Kevin Lance
Chief Flight Control Officer
USS Chuck Norris